Ouch! A Tree Hater was in my Yard!

Well, actually, I hired the guy. We agreed he would do some yard cleanup, get rid of anything that was dead, trim back the junipers that run along my driveway (and were eating into about two feet of driveway on both sides). We agreed on a price, and I said okay, reminding him that I wanted the hill behind my house cleared of all the pine needles (which are a fire hazard).

So, there I was, sitting at my computer about an hour later, having checked to see what the crew was doing....and thinking they were doing a fine job of cutting back all the juniper that holds my front hill in place. I felt confident that we both understood his tasks.....cut off and remove anything that was dead and hack the heck out of the juniper.

It never occurred to me that he would decide to touch any of my trees. Like this one, my beautiful flowering plum.



Now, I have this lovely view of the valley from the big picture window where I've placed my computer desk, and I was working on my novel, or playing PC solitaire, or doing something productive, and all of a sudden I looked up from my screen and saw the guy I hired, big loppers in hand, aimed at one of the branches on my lovely flowering plum tree. Before I could jump up and scream "NO, NO" he'd already lopped off four or five of the side branches and was aiming for the leader.

Here's what the dufus did to that tree:



I think I must have temporarily frozen, but by the time I got to my sliding patio door, was out on the porch, waving arms in the air, and screaming at the top of my lungs, that nice strong leader had felt the chop-chop of the cruel loppers and it lay on the ground beside a dozen or more branches, making the ground around that tree look like the floor around a barber chair right after someone like Willie Nelson got a buzz cut.

Oh, the pain of it. And believe you me, I was in shock. I ranted and raved about what a dufus he was, and he kept saying over and over "don't worry, I guarantee the tree will be back better than it was before" and "this is what I do to my plum tree every year." Well, be that as it may, I had to retort that this was not his tree, and I didn't want it to look like whatever his tree looked like, I wanted it tall and strong. And besides, I yelled, loud enough for the neighbors to hear, any arborist will tell you that you NEVER TOP A TREE.

Now, mind you, he didn't just TOP THE POOR THING, he chopped off every single side branch, too. A flowering plum, you see, has limbs that grow at a sharp (maybe 20- or 30-degree) angle from the trunk (rather than a 45-degree angle from the trunk like some trees). And when a limb (or leader) is chopped off, it will furiously send out suckers all around those chopped off limbs. And those suckers will be weak and wind-damage prone.....and naturally my poor little tree sits near the point of my property, unprotected, at the top of the hill, where the wind comes through the strongest.

So, I will try to look at the positive aspects of this.

1--I saw him doing his deed and stopped him before he could attack my redbuds and my hybrid poplar, which would probably fallen under his loppers immediately after he finished damaging the flowering plum. So, that's a good thing.

2--I can't think of another positive aspect.

Now, as far as repairing the damage. One of the arborist websites that I visited this morning says there's nothing one can do to repair a topped tree. (Keep in mind, mine isn't just topped, it had every good, strong side branch lopped off, too, so it's been topped and side-swiped.)

But, I keep thinking there are two possibilities: tho' neither is great, still, they are possibilities, and I'm a possibility thinker.

1 (the best idea) -- I can create a new leader by cutting off a remaining good branch, whittling some off at the bottom on both sides of that piece, making a wedge cut in the top of the chopped off leader, forcing the whittled branch into the wedge, wrapping the graft and covering it with graft goo, and hoping for the best.

2 (the second best idea) -- I can wait until the tree sends out suckers around each lopped off piece (the leader and nearly a dozen side branches), then tighten the strongest sucker to each lopped off end with grafting tape (maybe adding in a brace if necessary), and create a new leader and new side branches.

The major thing is, I have to move in a positive direction, or I'll dwell on the negative and the next time I see this Mr. Chop-Chop Dufus, I might try to .... no, I can't say anything like that on the internet, can I?

Anyway, this rant has helped get rid of some of the bile building up in my stomach every time I look out my picture window this morning and see that poor, pathetic, pint-sized tree (it's now half the height it was before Mr. chop-chop came along).

Grrrrrrrrrrrr . . . .